New Vegas Resort "Mogadishu" Opens On The Strip

Mogadishu opened its doors yesterday to the public and became the newest city-themed resort on the Las Vegas strip, joining the likes of Paris, New York New York, Monte Carlo, the Venetian and Luxor. Named for the capital and largest city of Somalia, Mogadishu is a 400 room hotel, casino and entertainment establishment with an architectural design based on bullet-riddled rubble. The complex features a life-size Blackhawk Down simulator ride in which tourists experience what it's like to be in a helicopter hit by a rocket-propelled grenade. Guests are also treated to room accommodations that feature all the amenities Somali warlords are known to impart to their prisoners -- dirt floors, cinderblock pillows, His and Her blindfolds, brackish water, and rice highjacked from United Nations food convoys. "We really wanted this resort to have the taste, feel and smell of the real Mogadishu," said Chalmers Smith, CEO of the Mogadishu Joint Entertainment Corporation. "Mogadishu is an exciting place with exotic sights and sounds. I think the American people are ready to embrace it as the Casablanca of the 21st Century." To compete with the famous water grotto and fountain show of the neighboring Bellagio Hotel, Mogadishu features a three acre manmade, saltwater pond. Waves are generated mechanically to simulate the sea conditions of the Gulf of Aden. Guests at the hotel can navigate the pond with paddle boats where they will be attacked by a group of actors playing Somali pirates. In spite of the bombed-out appearance of the resort's architecture Mogadishu features a state-of-the-art, full service gaming casino. "We wanted gambling to be a part of the resort," said Smith, "because residents of the real Mogadishu gamble with their lives each and every day. I mean can you imagine?"