Hubble Telescope Now Capable Of Spying On Naked Women In Distant Galaxies

Recent upgrades to the nineteen year old space telescope have increased mankind's peeping tom abilities to astronomical proportions. "We can now see further than ever into the depths of space," said NASA spokesman Hector Roman. "And that means no uncovered breast or bum will go unwatched, no matter how far away the planet or how dense the particular solar debris field." Since the repairs were finished, the upgraded telescope has allowed NASA astronomers to watch sunbathing beauties on Cappella 7, a green, yet attractive exhibitionist who never closes her blinds on Zarzek, and the showers of a girls' locker room on a small planet orbiting X-8639. This last planet, though similar to Earth in many respects, has a lower gravitational pull which allows breasts to grow very large while remaining perky. "We've been waiting a long time for this," Roman said with an irrepressible smile. "Technology has finally caught up to our innate desire to observe naked strangers."

A predominantly female contingent of scientists has criticized the exclusively voyeuristic use of the multi-billion dollar instrument, claiming it should be used instead to investigate black holes, dark matter, deep space radiation and other mysterious quantum phenomenon. Janet Clench, a physicist at MIT, said, "Hubble has finally given us the chance to answer some of the most perplexing questions concerning the origin of the universe and the nature of matter, but these guys are too busy ogling giant alien boobs."

In response to these allegations, Roman had this to say: "Those broads are just jealous. Wait until they get a gander at the studs on Priapus 13. They'll change their tune. Hell, we won't be able to tear them away from the eyepiece."