Newly Discovered Dante Manuscript Describes Special Circle Of Hell For Vegans

Archaeologists, literary scholars and theologians are excited about the recent discovery of a 14th Century manuscript believed to be written by Dante Alighieri. The find was made in Florence, Italy and sheds new light on Dante's original vision for the geography of The Inferno. Cassius Revoldini, a noted Dante scholar, says: "this manuscript details a sub-ring of the Third Circle of Hell. We all know the Third Circle, as the published manuscript tells us, is reserved for gluttons who are forced to lie in a vile slush as punishment for their food lust." The newly discovered text describes a separate torture for "those who in life ate no meat, no fish, no fowl, nor dairy -- those who took a stance of superiority and condescension concerning their restricted diet." The suffering vegans are doomed to wallow in a morass of rotting animal carcasses as cow-headed demons force-feed them endless strings of sausages. In the manuscript Dante briefly converses with the soul of Daniele Corazza, a contemporary of Dante's and a noted vegetarian who once criticized the poet for his love of veal. Dante taunts the bloated and agonized Corazza by saying: "How's it taste?" Historians and scholars are unsure as to why the vegan circle was removed from the Divine Comedy before publication.