During a recent trip to Scotland aging rock star, self-proclaimed "gun nut" and NRA spokesman Ted Nugent shot and killed the famous plesiosaur known affectionately as "Nessie." From the bow of a rented boat Nugent fired several dozen rounds from a Heckler & Koch assault rifle into the massive animal. "It was fucking awesome," a smiling, blood-spattered Nugent said. "I nailed that ugly son-of-a-bitch. This is a great day for firearms." The 35 foot long body was towed to shore and an industrial crane was brought in from a nearby construction site for weighing purposes. Scientists are lamenting the death of the reclusive creature, feared to be the last of its species. "This would've been one of the greatest scientific finds in history had we been able to study the specimen before Mr. Nugent filled it full of lead," Dr. Ian McClish said. "We'd still like to dissect the body to learn about the visceral biology of the Jurassic Period, but he (Nugent) won't let us near it." "Hell no," Nugent said in response to McClish's request. "I'm gonna mount this fucker in my trophy room next to the condor."
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